It used to be the case that a man always paid for his fiancee’s engagement ring, but in modern times where the woman is sometimes the breadwinner, the scenario continues to change.
According to a survey on The Knot’s Facebook page, more and more couples are splitting the cost of a diamond ring, with many saying that modern times call for a more equal divide.
But while some claim going Dutch makes more sense financially, others say the break with tradition is a sign that chivalry is dead – and an omen that the marriage might be headed for a break, too.
Samantha Daniels, the matchmaking founder of Samantha’s Table Matchmaking, told Today.com that it’s ‘not surprising’ that both men and women are now involved in choosing and paying for the ring.
‘I think it makes for a better connection between the two people,’ she said, ‘because both the man and woman earn money and contribute to the financials.’
According to a survey carried out by the website, however, opinion is split almost in half, with 46per cent of women saying they’d be willing to share the cost of a ring, and 54per cent saying they would not.
Many women have also taken to The Knot’s Facebook page to voice their differing opinions, with some saying that sharing the cost of a ring is a sign of the times.
‘I’m absolutely for it,’ said one commenter. ‘Welcome to the women’s rights movement, ladies, you’re only a few decades late.’
Another said: ‘We live in a generation where women work and are often breadwinners of the family. So why should the man have to pay for a ring solely?’
A lot of couples these days live together and share bank accounts before tying the knot, meaning that any big financial decision – like the purchase of engagement ring – should be done together.
‘We share our finances,’ said one commenter who bought half of her engagement ring. ‘I don’t think its that big of a deal. Just because you split the cost, it doesn’t mean he loves you any less.’
Another said: ‘Why should it matter because after the end of the wedding, it will be joint money anyway.’
But some women resent the idea that they should share the cost of the ring, noting that it breaks with tradition as well as ruining the surprise element.
‘NO!’ wrote one appalled commenter. ‘It should be something he chooses from his heart for you. . .even if it’s a small ring, it should be the thought that counts.’
Another woman said the idea of sharing the cost is ‘tacky,’ writing: ‘It is a gift, a symbol of your willingness to commit…do I need to supply you with half the willingness to commit?’
The idea of a man expecting to split the cost has some women questioning whether it will set a precedent for other holidays as well.
‘Are your birthday and Christmas gifts going to be Dutch too?!’ wrote one concerned commenter.
For other women though, sharing the cost of the ring is a compromise that shows you can work together.
One woman explained: ‘He was less financially stable when we got engaged, so I contributed much of the cost of the engagement ring so I could get a ring I love.
‘The ring should be something he chooses from his heart. Even if it’s small, it’s the thought that counts’
‘Now that he is the more financially stable partner, he has paid most of the cost of the rest of the wedding. It was a compromise that worked in our situation.’
As for men, opinions seem to be just as divided.
One man who was interviewed on the street by Today.com told the website: ‘I’m not a fan of that.’
Another man, however, seemed elated by the idea. ‘It’s a great idea,’ he said with a smile.